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What Is Selective Mutism In Children-Now I Know What Was Wrong With Me




Now I Know What Was  Wrong With Me


I never knew what was wrong with me as a child, I just could not speak in public especially when in school. My mind just went blank, until recently I thought it was just my normal social anxiety. Ends up, there is actually a name for this and I was not alone with this problem. It is a anxiety disorder, my teachers and my parents just pushed off my not being able to talk in school and public as being extra shy. That is what I heard for all my problems growing up as a child, when it  came to not doing well in school I was told i was not applying myself to work up to my potential. The true reason for my poor grades in school, I could not stand up in front of the class and do assignments or even talk in class from my desk.


anxiety disorders


What is Selective Mutism In Children


This very strange anxiety disorder prevents children from being able to talk in selective places, most often it happens in social settings such as school or public places. I rarely talked when in school, nope not even by the time I was in junior high or high school did I talk much in school. Of course this prevents you from making any friends, actually by the time you are in junior high the other students just think your a snob. Needless to say I really hated going to school, by high school I would be absent more then present. I would skip out sometimes for  an entire week, spend my time in the woodlots near my home until it was time for school to be out. My parents both worked , so neither of them had any idea what I was doing instead of being in school.


anxiety disorders


Living With Selective Mutism


Even though my condition has improved dramatically since my school days, I still do not talk all that much when I am in public settings. When I do need to talk, I talk with a very soft spoken voice. Most of the time people can not even hear what  I am trying to say to them, my natural supplement has helped me with this a great deal. Since taking my supplement I am more relaxed then ever before when I go out in public settings, this supplement has helped many people especially children. So if you have a child with this disorder, this would be a good product for you to try.




Common Myths About Selective Mutism In Children


Even though very few people are aware this disorder is actually a medical problem, there are many myths about this which are so untrue and unfair to the children experiencing this problem. We do not choose to have the fears we do in our lives, they come from inside of us naturally. I have shared a link for anyone interested in learning more about this disorder, this article is primarily on the myths of this disorder people believe even some medical professionals need to read this article.


Common Myths 




Sadly the medical world has not real treatment for this disorder any more then they do for social anxiety, this disorder is a social anxiety disorder. The only medication they prescribe which has not been very effective is Prozac, this medication did nothing for me. What has given me the most improvement is my supplement and my diet,  here is the link for my supplement again just in case you are considering this as an option.


As for my diet, my diet consists of the following


Grass Fed Meats






Gluten-Free Products (Limit To Moderate Consumption )


Almond Milk (Silk)

Rice & Corn Based Products

No Processed Foods


no grain diet plan


Final Thought


I highly recommend you only eat grains once in a great while if at all, if you do eat any grains be sure they are gluten-free. See even gluten-free grains are triggers for your anxiety when you have anxiety issues, I am good as long as I watch how much gluten-free grains I consume, i can not consume them regularly or I can feel my anxiety symptoms becoming more severe. I hope these resources are very helpful for anyone with this disorder, I am sure there are many people out there with this disorder and do not even know it.


gluten free



24 thoughts on “What Is Selective Mutism In Children-Now I Know What Was Wrong With Me

  1. A lot of times kids have problems speaking in public at school, like for book reports in front of the class, for public speaking classes, or for debate. And it’s not that they are just shy, or have anxiety. There is an actual name for what this is in children, and it’s called selective mutism. It’s a fear of standing in front of the class and talking, or even just standing at your desk or answering a question seated at your desk. You just freeze and all thoughts leave your head and you become tongue-tied, unable to speak or come up with a coherent thought. Selective mutism usually happens at school or public places. And this can even prevent you from making friends. I definitely know I had this as a kid as I’m reading about it. My sister was the little social butterfly of the family. She could talk to anyone and had tons of friends and was popular. I, on the other hand, had a few close friends, but that was it. I was ok with someone one on one, but get me in a group, and I would just sit there, not knowing what to do or what to say. I’m still that way. I have to actually push myself to talk to people and extend myself that way. It’s interesting that some things have changed while others haven’t. I’ve been in the service industry for 25 years, so I have to go up to total strangers all the time and take their order and try to get them to buy things they may not have wanted to get a larger tip. And this I have no problem with. But when it comes to dealing with my co-workers, I’m very reticent and withdrawn. I wait until I know a little more about the people I work with before I start talking to them. Usually I’m older than they are anyway, which is a pretty big age gap. It’s funny, I don’t feel my age, or look my age, but the gap is still there and I feel it stands in the way sometimes, even if they don’t know my age and think I’m around their age. And I’m still much better one on one with people than I am in groups. If I’m asked to a party, I find out how many people I know will be there first. Because if I only know one or two people, there is no point in me going. I can’t go up to people and just start conversations, it’s just not me, it makes me uncomfortable, so as long as I know there will be like 6-7 people there that I know I might go, that way I know I have plenty of people I can talk to, even if it’s just mingling. But when it comes to speaking in public sometimes I’m okay. Like, I became a head trainer at some of the restaurants I worked at, which meant I had to run the classes, which meant me standing up in front of a class of new hires and give classes for the company, and I found I was actually good at it. And it has made me feel like I could do more. Like now I want to do videos and webinars for the blogs that I write. So we’ll see how it goes. But I’m glad to know that it wasn’t that I was just shy, that there is an actual name for what I was going through as a kid.

    1. Thank You

      I am very grateful for you sharing your experiences with selective mutism, we share the terrible childhood children go through with this terrible disorder. Knowing there is a name and others also who have experienced this does help us quite a bit, just knowing its not that we are different then everyone else and actually have a health problem does make it a little easier to understand.

      I hope more people who read this article benefit from what I have shared and the resources I have supplied to learn more about this disorder and actually what you can do to treat it.


  2. Very interesting article. I had never heard of this before, though I have known children that exhibit this behavior. I’ve always assumed it was a lack of social skills and it seemed like the parents were enabling the child by answering for them. You’ve given me a new perspective and I now have more empathy for these children and their parents. I will share this article with them.

    1. Thank You Lu Hall

      Your comment is the reason I decided to share this disorder on my website, I experienced this disorder in my childhood and never knew until recently why. I feel knowledge plays a major part in our health problems, if more people know about this disorder more people will understand the problem which can help these children so much more then in the past.


  3. This is a really fascinating and informative post which should be read by anyone who has any dealings with children. It must have ben really hard growing up with this condition.
    I was a teacher for many years, and I never came across any child who would not talk to me, although of course there were some who were quite shy, but they would all communicate with supportive encouragement.
    Do you have any idea of the percentage of children with this condition?
    Thank you so much for this information.
    Chrissie 🙂

    1. Thank You Chrissie

      This condition is so unaware of for such a long time its really impossible to know the percentage of children who are living with this disorder, most are not diagnosed with this condition. They are considered extremely shy, many of your children who could be in special education could have this disorder and it has been incorrectly diagnosed as a learning disability.


  4. I can now see, back when boomers grew up or anybody before the nineteen nineties, being shy, was actually suffering debilitating anxieties, and now is narrowed down with a clear explanation. It is not just a clinical label, it explains so much for me too. I hated that I was afflicted with this. I would not feel comfortable in almost any social situation. I believe many turn to alcohol to get over their fears, and bam, you’re an alcoholic. It is sad because in the very beginning, as a child, you may have been experiencing heightened chemicals that turn off the moment and make you “freeze” in one form or another. To be recognized as a child with selective mutism and eased into social situations so the mind can control and recognize the adverse actions should start, where? In pre-school it should be talked about just like the abc’s. Being a good citizen when I was a kid, really meant I had mutism disorder! There should be lessons for all group interactions and professional guidance to get the strugglers through it, just like math. Unfortunately, the many children that “act out” are the only ones getting special attention.

    1. Thank You Sherry

      It is very sad how many children were labeled as having a learning disability or worse just because
      of this disorder, sticking them in the special classes with children with special needs was probably
      the worse thing which could have been done.

      Many teachers either did not have the time or was not interested in helping these children mainly because
      they thought they had a more serious problem.

      Even many medial professionals today are not up with this disorder, more likely very few children get
      diagnosed properly even today with this disorder.


  5. Refering to your article on How to Stop Worrying, you recommend a supplement by the name of Nuphorin. Is it available in Asian countries or it’s just availabe in U.S ? It looks very promising for people who suffer from over worrying that wouldn’t want to use drugs as their treatment. Does it have any side effect ?

    1. Thank You Rehmiee

      Nuphorin is a very safe product use, no major side effects listed and a 100% money back guarantee if it does not help your anxiety and worrying.

      Yes, this product should be available in Asian countries. You can get this product through Amazon, just use the link on my website or go to and you will find this product.


  6. I am forever grateful that I have stumbled across this! I can most definitely relate.

    I always knew it was more then what everyone said it was. I truly did not want any part in speaking publicly. I would purposely try not to get any attention in class because I did not want the teacher to call on me to read out loud or answer a question in front of everyone.

    Class presentations were the worse. I would willing take the low grade instead of having to get up there and face everybody. Just the thought of it made me sick to my stomach. It was very frustrating! Because I just wanted to be “normal”.

    1. Thank You Britt

      What your sharing is exactly what I also went through in my own life, many other children experienced these same things and sadly most of us more likely was not taken serious enough. I wish we both could get our childhood back and be normal like other children, even today I do avoid being the center of attention.


      At least Britt, now we know why we were not like most other children.

  7. My other half has social anxiety issues as well but not nearly as intense as the way you described this. It was very informative as I have experienced similar cases with children when i was going to school and I simply passed it off as being a bit snobish even tho i was never mean to them. If stuff like this was shared on a wider scale it could save alot of children pain as not everyone was as kind to them as me. Again I must say thank you for having the courage to share and I hope this reaches as many people as possible.

    1. Thank You Matic

      I do appreciate you taking the time to read my article and sharing, I was lucky in school no one picked on me but many others were not so lucky and really had a terrible experience being picked just because they were different.


  8. Hi Jeffrey, thanks for the great article. It’s a shame that it wasn’t identified properly while you were growing up, but then nothing was in old days – totally unrelated but I was scared of heights and, I was only forced to climb up on playground equipment as tall as 20 feet high. I was scared to death, had recurring nightmares about it. But it was simply considered ‘wrong” in those days.

    I’m a little disappointed to learn that there’s no real medial treatment for this selective mutism… Taking prozac does not really sound right to me either. But good to know the gluten-free diet helps. I hope as many people will read this article, so that they’re aware of this condition and look into those children seriously, rather than putting them in one bracket as “shy” or “extremely quiet”.

    Thanks again for the informative article.

    1. Thank You Ray

      I appreciate you sharing today, it is a shame there is no efficient treatment for this disorder. Good to know there is a reason children are extra quiet and do not participate socially from this disorder, when people consider you just shy they do not take your situation as serious.


  9. This was an interesting post and good to know about especially seeing I have a two year old daughter. I am wondering if you know if there was any trigger in your early childhood years that may have caused this disorder within you? For example some kind of trauma you can remember? Or any clues in your family background? Thanks for the info.

    1. Thank You Liz

      I am happy to hear from you, I wish the best for your two year old daughter. There is no evidence any trauma triggers this disorder, but I did live in a abusive situation as a child. I grew up with a very angry father, even saying the wrong thing could set him off. I do feel this was my trigger for my anxiety, I was scared to death most of the time I was a child.


  10. If your diet one is of your triggers to your anxiety attacks and you travel a lot, what do you in that case?

    1. Thank You Mr Katt

      I am dealing with that very problem myself, I am not able to eat any gluten or dairy products which makes eating out
      almost impossible. Even when I take a risk with what is suppose to be gluten and dairy free, I have gotten very sick
      so I do not eat out if possible.

      Do a elimination diet to find out exactly what foods are your triggers, you might be able to eat out and still avoid them
      depending on what foods and how many effect you.


  11. As a teacher, this would be a wonderful asset to my personal library collection. So many children have a hard time speaking in the classroom. As result, the teachers become frustrated with the student that cannot participate in class discussions, presentations, group work, etc. In turn the student ends up receiving a failing grade. If teachers had just a little bit of background on the subject matter you present in your article, students may feel more comfortable in the learning environment. This is an article worth sharing to some of my colleagues.

    1. Thank You Calvin

      I appreciate your interest in my article, teachers knowing about this disorder and how to handle it would be a great asset to children. The children do not intentionally not participate or want a failing grade, they just are not able to participate because of their disorder. Many schools label these children as lazy or not working up to their potential, actually these children are doing their best.


  12. What a very informative site you have on selective mutism. I couldn’t help thinking about my own childhood and also about my son, who had tantrums and just didn’t show up in school when he had to deliver a speech about a subject.\i thought he was just shy but now i see it differently, I never got relly angry though because i had the same. Even had it a few years ago, i froze in the middle of a speech, definitely an experience you don’t want. I’ve accepted this but do you think it can be trained even if you’re older? I still wish i wasn’t so terrible in sharing. Thank you Celiacman, I might have a look at the diet. Marion

    1. Thank You Marion

      There is always hope for everyone to improve their anxiety issues, if I could improve my issues anyone can I lived my entire life with anxiety for as long as I can remember. Try the diet it can not hurt , if your interested check my other articles for more ways to improve your anxiety.


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