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How To Deal With Social Anxiety-Teenagers Part Three

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Teenagers With Social Anxiety

Being a teenager is difficult enough with crazy unpredictable hormones and peer pressure, but add social anxiety to the mixture and you have a very miserable, confused and frustrated teenager. As a teenager with social anxiety I experienced many classmates with this condition being bullied by the school bullies all the time, I was very fortunate the bullies did not bother me. The only explanation I have for this, I was a loner in school and possibly the bullies  was not sure if I was an easy prey or not? Speaking of bullies, these teens are handling their anxiety in an aggressive way to boost their own self-esteem. So you have two types of teens with anxiety handling their anxiety in two completely different ways, one bullying others  and the other isolating themselves from others as much as possible just to survive.


Teens Experiencing Social Anxiety

Teenagers experiencing social anxiety is a much different experience then during the childhood years, during childhood years the majority of these children are more likely isolated or ignored by their classmates. As teens they are often mistreated by the bullies, their remainder classmates do not bully them but at the same time they are mistreating them by not associating with them in a friendly way. The Majority of teens in this situation feel they are not liked by their classmates, more often their  classmates see these students as unfriendly, rude or possibly even anti-social. I know from my own experience that was not the case, my anxiety just kept me from being able to socialize with my classmates. These teens besides feeling they are outcasts, very often do not do well academically and dislike attending school very much. In my case, I felt I was dumb and not as intelligent as my classmates. At that time, I did not realize it was my anxiety preventing me from achieving in my studies. I would take a failing grade despite wishing to achieve in school, the reason for this failing grade was I was not able to stand up in front of my classmates to do assignments such as book reports and similar assignments. At this time social anxiety was controlling my life in a much more severe way then my childhood days, as a teen  this condition effects your self-esteem as well as your ability to achieve good grades.


Teens With Social Anxiety Symptoms

The symptoms for teens with this condition for the majority of victims is isolation, teens in this situation find solitude in alone time. You will rarely see such teens attend football games, dances and other after school activities. These activities are just too emotionally draining for these people, their anxiety prevents them from enjoying the experience. Often these people feel much worse being out around other people, they are often paranoid feeling everyone is judging them. Sadly many of these people become very depressed, even possibly suicidal wishing to just find a way to end the situation. Some of these people even experience such a negative feeling about themselves, they will turn to self mutating themselves. This is their way of punishing themselves for being the way they are, sadly this is very common and many end up accidentally ending their own lives. These  people are known in the medical world as “Cutters”, they cut themselves to punish themselves or sometimes just to feel something because they become so emotionally numb. These are the more serious symptom to watch out for in teens with this condition, anyone experiencing these symptoms needs to get professional help immediately.


Teen Social Anxiety Treatment

Teens with this condition should consider counseling, not so much to solve their problems but to have someone to talk to can very well save their lives. I myself have had many years of counseling, sadly I did not receive counseling until my early 40’s, living in a rural area this was not available or well known about at the time I was a teenager. Honestly counseling did not solve my social anxiety, it did however kept me from becoming severely depressed and suicidal. I do not have much faith in medication for this condition, medication will not cure you but it can keep you more stable until you overcome this condition to the point you can deal with it . In the next article we will begin to find coping skills you can experiment with , plus I will share with you how you can learn to deal with this condition much better in the future. There is no fast fix for learning to deal with this condition, but I assure you if I could learn to deal with this as well as I am today you can also learn by just being patient and not being so hard on yourself.

Attention Parents Of Troubled Teens With Social Anxiety, I Highly Suggest You Not Force Your Teens Into Attending Social Activities And Participating In Activities Which Makes Them Anxious. This Is Often A Trigger Which Could Make Their Condition Even More Severe, Seek Professional Help Please!!!!


Final Thought

Surviving through your teens with social anxiety is an accomplishment all of its own you should be  very proud of, I have experienced natural herbal supplements has helped me the most to deal with this condition. With the right herbal supplement for your brain chemistry and the right coping skills, you can learn to deal with social anxiety without medication. The majority of the physicians sadly want to prescribe medications, medications has their place but I feel they are used too freely too often before natural methods are tried.





  • Matt says:

    Thank you for raising this awareness! It is extremely important that we realize the symptoms and start speaking up for those who do not want to speak for themselves. This is a very common and serious disorder and I have several friends that suffer from it. I am glad I read to seek help rather than force them to deal with it and continue their regular social situations. I now see that this can be dangerous and it is better to seek help.

    • admin says:

      Thank You Matt

      Your my first comment on my teenage social anxiety article, I am happy the seek help was clear enough for people to understand how serious this really can be forcing a teen into these trigger situations can be. My next article on this will be the first steps to learning to deal with social anxiety without medicine, I hope this series is helping some people.


  • Mimi-CU says:

    What a great cause you have dedicated your site to. It is amazing how many teens have social anxiety today. Most go un-diagnosed! I believe like you do that you can learn to cope with this condition without the use of medicine. I am glad you emphasize that medications may be necessary for some individuals. Parents need to be taught about this. As a mother of teenagers, I know that no matter how much stability and balance you believe you are providing your teenagers, they are still susceptible to this condition. Mainly due to peer-pressure and hormonal imbalances. I am very grateful to have stumbled upon your site today. You are very well informed and I wish you the best with this mission. Thanks for sharing!

    • admin says:

      Thank You Mimi CU

      I am happy you read my article, the more people who read my experience maybe this will help others in the future not to have to go most of their life with this condition. My next article will begin how to deal with this anxiety one step at a time


  • Arif says:

    Hi Jeff. I think your site is terrific. To know the insights and thoughts emanating into your writing are from someone who has experienced some parts of social anxiety is more trusting. If you know what I mean. Your site struck a cord with me. I started thinking if I had social anxiety in my teens. Some parts of what you said regarding the symptoms struck a cord, others didn’t. I mean i always played football and attended after school classes because i wanted to. But then I did get lightly bullied by one individual from my class. I was not very confident. I was very reserved. I had selected friends. From college and onwards I have been completely the opposite. So overall I probably did not have social anxiety although there were some signs. Maybe I was borderline. The reason why I went a bit into myself is because your article made me think deeply. Now I have kids, I will definitely bear in mind your list of symptoms to look out for.
    One thing though. Considering being aware of the symptoms is so important, maybe bullet pointing them would be more easier on the eye and more eye catching?

    • admin says:

      Thank you arif

      I do not feel you had social anxiety, but you might have had anxiety which still makes getting through your teenage years much more difficult. I do hope none of your children experience this, but if they do I am glad you read my article and know how to deal with this in the right way. Thank you for your suggestion on future articles, I appreciate all you shared with me.


  • Andrea says:

    The plight of every demographic affects society. It’s very important that people are aware of these issues, whether they deal with teens or not.
    Teenagers tend to push things under the rug because of shame or fear of rejection. But they should be encouraged and supported by adults not to take that route.
    I’m glad that you are bringing attention to these issues!

    • admin says:

      Thank You Andrea

      I appreciate your sharing your comment today, also thank you for visiting my website and reading my article. Anxiety is tough at any age of course, but I do feel its can be much more life threatening during the teen years since being popular and with the in crowd is what is most important to teenagers.


  • Ashley says:

    Really enjoyed the information provided on your site. As someone who has suffered extensively with anxiety it really hit home. Made me think of my past A LOT and wish information like this was more accessible then. The look of the page is very clean and professional, it’s eye catching and easy to read so I didn’t hesitate to start and finish it through. ABSOLUTELY appreciate your site from beginning to end!

    • admin says:

      Thank You Ashley,

      I appreciate and i am sorry to hear you also experienced social anxiety, I hope your anxiety has improved and if not well enough maybe keep up on my articles to see if anything I post might be useful for you to try too.

      I am spending so much time on this issue just because I know how it is to feel so helpless with social anxiety, I hope my articles do reach enough people with help to improve their lives much sooner then it took me to improve my own life.


  • Ben says:


    I love this post, as someone who suffered for most of my life with Anxiety especially when I was younger its something that more people need to be aware of.

    Young people are more likely to not ask for help as they may feel insecure and scared so posts like this will help them see how to ask for help.

    • admin says:

      Thank You Ben

      I appreciate your comment and reading my article, I do hope people share my articles on social anxiety with people who really need to be more aware they are not alone with their anxiety issues. There has been a very high increase over the years, I just posted my first step article today.


  • Gloria says:

    This is really sad. I’m sure a lot of parents have no idea what their child is going through. I agree pushing them into things that make them more uncomfortable would make things worse. Shouldn’t schools have counselors who can recognize this? I would think that in a school environment it would be more obvious, especially if you are trained to know what to look for.

    • admin says:

      Thank You Gloria

      I appreciate your comment , possibly today school counselors are more in touch with social anxiety then in my school days. During grade school I rarely seen a school counselor and none of my teachers seemed to pick up on my social anxiety issues. Many school teachers and counselors see social anxiety children as just extremely shy, they think in time they will improve but actually they become much worse the longer it exists .


  • Neel says:

    You made me realize social anxiety is really a matter regardless ages. You did mention one point about “Home Schooling”. I personally think that could be a big issue for child at today, As you see, this is Internet generation, child loves online and they getting less interaction with people in real life! I really think parents should have pay attention to this matter. I personally had an issue of social anxiety during my primary school. I had no friends and i had been isolated. But thanks god I got to know a friend who sat beside me. He lead me to a better way as we play games together, then I know more friends and interact with more people because of him. And now, I think i am totally fine with social anxiety!

    • admin says:

      Thank You Neel

      I am happy you made such a good close friend who brought you out of your social anxiety shell, many of us were not so lucky as you. I appreciate your comment and reading my article today, yes the internet can be a very positive or a very negative factor in social anxiety today.

      Take Care


  • Bethany says:

    Hi Jeff:
    How I wish I had access to your site 20 years ago when I was looking for answers to help my daughter. Thank goodness she is OK now and we have a good relationship but the info you have posted is just so true. I never thought that we would both survive. PLEASE keep writing this vital information. Thank you!

    • admin says:

      Thank You Bethany,

      I am extremely happy to hear you and your daughter survived your past experience with social anxiety, this condition is a very difficult experience to get through. I found the most difficult stage is the teens, this is when we have the most pressure to fit in and find ourselves and sadly many teens do not get through this experience very well.


  • Girl says:

    Information on anxiety is hard to come by in my country, and such mental wellness issues don’t get discussed often. There is also a huge stigma. People here think you have to be CRAZY before one actually has a “problem”.

    Only recently through therapy and going to CoDependents Anonymous that I learnt to identify my feelings of Anxiety. I predominantly am Codependent, with mild to moderate Depressive symptoms, including symptoms of ADD and OCD…

    So glad there is an increasing amount of literature available on Anxiety like yours. I’ve also started to document my recovery journey (on, to put more information out there, and to hopefully help someone, anyone, like what you’re doing… 🙂

    • Jeff says:

      Thank You

      Its a great thing your doing sharing your story online, many people are too ashamed to admit they have
      emotional problems such as anxiety and depression. It was not so long ago even in my country the USA,
      these types of problems was not discussed out in the open only kept in the family. The internet has opened
      a door for us to help others, I am happy to know you are also sharing to help others you have a big heart.


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